Confidently Manifest What You Really Want in Life with Efia Sulter

[00:00:00] Okay. 

[00:00:05] Melanie Knights: Welcome to Entrepreneurial Outlaws of here. I'm looking forward to chatting with you today and exploring mindset shifts and manifesting 

[00:00:12] Efia Sulter: with you, and I'm really excited to be here. Looking forward to getting into a chat today. 

[00:00:18] Melanie Knights: Perfect. So at the end, the theme for this season of entrepreneurial outlaws is entrepreneurial burnout.

And I'm really using this as an opportunity this season to dive into the topic because. We see so much finish strong marketing, so many conversations around how we can still end the year strong, also plan for the next year. And it can get quite overwhelming and I think life tends to get quite busy anyway, and we so often neglect what we need.

So I wanna start by just asking you, what does your soul need during this season? 

[00:00:54] Efia Sulter: During this season, I think is really for me about tapping into. The embodiment piece [00:01:00] of manifestation. And actually I have a course that, um, we're starting in a couple of weeks called Clean Energy and it's focusing on rather than all the things that we're doing in order to be having in manifestation, how can we take it back to being and ensuring that life is actually in alignment with our values and is making us feel how we wanna feel.

And for me, I've definitely noticed that in my business, that I do have to. Lean more into that intuitive side, especially as someone who also has a chronic illness. I also need to listen to what my business needs from me and what my body needs from me as well. Mm-hmm. , 

[00:01:35] Melanie Knights: I love that. That's so beautiful. And I, and I like what you said about listening to your body as well, because something I mention I talk about quite a bit on the show is the fact that our body or our, you know, our physical health doesn't work in isolation from our businesses.

It's so often these. The system that works together and as intuitives and, and empaths. I think we, we definitely sense that because if one [00:02:00] thing feels kind of crunchy, the rest of it kind of feels crunchy and vice versa. So yeah. I love what you just said. That's, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with us.

So today we are gonna be exploring manifestation and more specifically, you'll be sharing with us the crucial mindsets to manifest our dream life. And I'm really curious to explore this with you today because as I just mentioned to you, fair, this is something that we haven't really talked about on the show.

And for me personally, mindset work and personal development only really became a part of my language and a part of my world once I started a. , and I know that for a lot of entrepreneurs, mindset is a common part of that journey, and I've noticed that it comes up a. For a lot of entrepreneurs when they hit a plateau, whether it's an income plateau or a different growth metric, and can also occur when there's disconnection from the work that they once loved and usually the reason why they started their business.

So [00:03:00] as a business owner yourself, I'm really curious to know more about your experience with mindset and personal development work and what led you to becoming a mindset and manifestation. 

[00:03:10] Efia Sulter: It was definitely a very non-linear path for me. I didn't grow up knowing that I wanted to be a manifestation coach, but I have always had a desire to, to help people and to teach and to share.

And a lot of that comes from my own experiences growing up where I was actually orphaned at age 14. So growing up without parents meant that the role of mentors in my life, be it teachers or university lecturers, had a really significant. Role for me. And so going out into the world, while initially I thought I was gonna go down the path of digital marketing, which is what my degrees were in, it soon evolved into very naturally, actually into coaching mindset and manifestation, which was something that I was sharing online.

But at that time, it had been taking more of a [00:04:00] backseat role as something that I just did in my personal life, not something I thought about sharing. From a business perspective, and I was actually talking about travel, um, I'd been blogging. For nine years now, content creating for nine years. And my blog evolved from the student blog into a lifestyle blog into a travel blog.

When I started traveling the world. And then, as we all know, the world dramatically shifted in 2020. And although initially I did still try to talk about travel, it just, it's, it doesn't have the same magic talking about travel when you don't know when you're gonna leave the country again. So I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna take a pause on talking about the travel stuff, which actually.

Pretty devastating at the time because I'd just written a book all about solo travel, which had come out like two weeks before. I was so hyped for it. I poured so much love and energy into it, and then it's like, Ah, this is not what I wanted to happen. But it also redirected me to somewhere really beautiful where I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna share what does feel good for me to talk about right now.

I'm gonna share why I am actually passionate [00:05:00] about, And I realized in that moment, I had been portraying travel online as the biggest piece of my life because, you know, we're told to niche down and talk about your niche and only your niche, but actually travel wasn't the biggest part of my life. It was the mindset work, the manifestation work, the personal development work, and really taking a front seat in my own future that had changed my life and that I wanted to start talking about.

[00:05:25] Melanie Knights: That's so interesting. I mean, I, I love that journey of. Finding a silver lining essentially in the pandemic and not being able to travel and and reali and having that kind of realization that this is something I love and this is something I've been doing and talking about and blogging for such a long time, but actually it's not the biggest piece.

And I really love that journey because I think it's so beautiful when you can pull from so many different passions as well. Like I'm sure travel potentially now is becoming more of a reality. , [00:06:00] but you've still got this other part of your business or as your business that allows you to really embrace, you know, another part of who you are and another passion as well.

That's really, really lovely. So let's get into this. Can you share with us what these cru crucial, even crucial mindset shifts are for Man, Man, Oh, words, right. Let me start that. . Okay, so let's get into this. Can you share with us what these crucial mindset shifts for manifesting are? 

[00:06:36] Efia Sulter: So I think a lot of it goes back to what we were talking about and making sure that the life that you're living is in alignment with your values and so, When many people approach manifestation or perhaps hearing about it for the first time and seeing it as a very materialistic process, you're thinking, Okay, this is where I am now and this is what I wanna have.

But when we place so, so much emphasis on what we [00:07:00] wanna have, it's actually detracting from one of the most crucial mind searches that we need to make in order to call in those things that we wanna have, which is in order to manifest your extraordinary life. You also have to view yourself as an extraordinary person, as the kind of person who would attract the life that you want, attract the things that you want, the experience as people, whatever it is, because it doesn't just have to be external circumstances, you're manifesting.

And it can also be a state, a way of being as well. Mm-hmm. , 

[00:07:29] Melanie Knights: that's, that's really interesting. Okay, so for those of us listening who. Air on the side of cynical cynicism and cynical. Um, how do we make that, How, how can we shift our thinking to viewing ourself as an extraordinary person? 

[00:07:51] Efia Sulter: One of the key pieces is, Having a real sense of self awareness around how you actually view yourself right now.

So, [00:08:00] as I said, to view, you have to view yourself as an extraordinary person. How did those lands resonate for you? Were you like, Yep, totally onboard with that? I am extraordinary. I'm amazing. Or were you like, Oh, that feels like a bit uncomfortable to say like, Oh. Why would you brag about yourself, or why would you talk about yourself in that way?

And just notice how it felt and notice what response came up for you. As I said that, And maybe there was no response. Maybe it sparked nothing in you at all, But in order to change your story, you need to know what the existing story currently is. Yeah, 

[00:08:30] Melanie Knights: and I, and I think that's the thing. I think there's so many of us, we are taught to not, you know, not brag about ourselves, not.

Not to, um, you know, shine our own light. And we, we dim our light so often for other people and to make other people feel more comfortable. And I think that's possibly one of the things that I've definitely found over the years is that to shift from this place where I am not seeing myself as an extraordinary person [00:09:00] and not seeing my strengths, and instead focusing on improving the things that I see myself as.

As being weaknesses or being, you know, kind of character flaws. And there is such a focus on who we are not versus actually who we are. And it's interesting cuz I was actually journaling about something about this today, about how would I describe myself in a way that has nothing to do with what I do or you know, my body or things like that.

Like words that would always be a part of who I am. Ways of describing. That doesn't change. Doesn't change. If my job changes, doesn't change. If I can't do phy, physically do something. And I think that, like you were saying about values as well, I think that can have a huge impact on being able to see ourselves in that way and kind of turn that, that light switch on and turn all light up so that we can 

[00:09:55] Efia Sulter: actually.

Mm. I think you had a great point in there as well as that [00:10:00] your worth and your value as a human is, is also not linked to your work. Like what character traits do you have outside of that? What are you passionate about? Like what do you enjoy talking about with friends? There are so many aspects of you that are extraordinary outside of your work life too.

[00:10:15] Melanie Knights: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think especially as business owners, because our work is such a huge part of who we. And oftentimes, like you said, it, it can come from a place of passion and blogging and interests and not even connecting it to, you know, uh, monetizing what our passions are. But they can also be, you know, my case, I wanted to leave the corporate world and I kind of fell into entrepreneurship.

But the, the business that I, you know, had six, seven years ago, Defined who I was, and I was so connected in a very toxic and unhealthy way to what I was [00:11:00] doing that when I wanted to leave, it became very, very hard because it felt like it was my lifeline. It felt like it was the thing that defined who I am.

And so moving away from that, I would say to come back to what we're talking about, I feel like that really, really hit who I. I didn't know who I was because I had been this particular person, or I tried to be this particular person for such a long time and I wasn't able to kind of see myself in as an extraordinary person or as someone who, you know, already had so many strengths and really positive parts of my personality or who I am.

And so I really think it's interesting to think about that shift as well. So, One of the things that we wanted to talk about is the law of polarity, and I'm gonna be very honest, I don't really know anything about this, so I am gonna just kind of let you , take complete lead here and [00:12:00] explain to us what the Law 

[00:12:01] Efia Sulter: of Polarity is.

I can totally take the lead here. So have you heard of the lot of attract. Yes. So the law of attraction is actually one of several universal laws. Depending on who you ask, people may say 12, 13, 15, numerous numbers. But all you need to know is law of attraction is one of many. And what you'll hear less people talking about is things like the law of action, the law of gender, and also the law of polarity.

And essentially the law of polarity, or the law of duality states that every positive has a minus, and every minus has a positive. So that. There are always gonna be ebbs and flows to life, up and down moments, and we have to honor those moments rather than feeling like we constantly have to force it to be something.

It's not, That's not to say that you should wallow in self pity, but it is to say that if you're having a challenging time, that it's okay to let yourself have those moments and honoring yourself regardless of what emotions you're feeling, [00:13:00] regardless of what your external reality is doing because you.

Ride at the high forever. And just as you can't ride the high forever, the down times, the challenges, the sad times don't last forever either. So it's about incorporating that into a manifestation process rather than trying to force it to be only one way. It's increasing capacity for abundance by increasing your capacity for everything else.

[00:13:24] Melanie Knights: Okay, so that makes a lot more sense. I understand now. . One of the things, so I, I guess the way I would talk about this and have definitely expressed it in my own life, is that feeling when we're going through something hard and it feels like it's never going to end, and it, I guess it's that self-awareness of understanding or just awareness generally, that this is potentially a feeling and that there is a positive as well.

[00:13:53] Efia Sulter: Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And something that I always love to say is this is a moment, not a [00:14:00] lifetime. And that's whether I'm having like a really rough time or whether I'm having just like a out of this world, incredible time. I'm like, This isn't gonna last forever, so enjoy it. Or this isn't gonna last forever, so you're gonna get through it.

[00:14:12] Melanie Knights: Hmm. I like that. And, and I, and in a way that kind of reminded me of the. Um, a FOMO versus, you know, jomo as, as, as kind of more recent times we've talked about the joy of missing out. And I, I feel like that's something I've always found quite difficult to kind of understand and, but, and essentially it's that it's understanding that there's some joy in missing out and, you know, we can still feel that that FOMO as well, or we can experience these highs and these lows together and it's kind of part of being human.

I, you know, I don't think any of us go through life without experiencing some darkness, but to know that to experience darkness, it's because we've also experienced that light as well. 

[00:14:54] Efia Sulter: Mm. And there is power in our vulnerability. I think, particularly as female entrepreneurs [00:15:00] think that, Oh, I can't, you know, I can't let too many people in, or I have to do everything on my own, or I don't wanna be seen as being vulnerable.

And actually a lot of our power lies in our vulnerability and our ability to feel so deeply and connect. So, . 

[00:15:15] Melanie Knights: Yes, definitely a superpower. I love that. So let's talk about timing cuz this is a topic that I actually really love, , I have talked about here on the show, Um, many times that I wanted to start a podcast back in like 2016, I bought a microphone and then I did nothing for a really long time.

And in 2020. In the midst of a very busy year, professionally and a very emotional year all around, I decided, you know what? We're gonna start a podcast because why not? Now this seems like a great, great time to do it and I'm so glad I did. But one of the things I've expressed on the [00:16:00] show and, and kind of personally and professionally, There was a reason I didn't start a podcast in 2016, and there was a reason I decided to start a podcast in 2020.

There was a reason how this show came together, and when I looked back I could see these kind of almost, these little bread crumbs of reminding me about. Outlaws and outlaw country music led to entrepreneurial outlaws, and here we are two years later. So let's talk about timing, right? Um, talk about perfect timing versus defined timing and what does that really mean.

[00:16:36] Efia Sulter: So I think when it comes to making powerful decisions in your life, you can. Put a lot of it off due to waiting for the right timing, waiting for perfect timing, waiting for all the pieces to come together, waiting to know exactly what to do. And while that can feel like you are truly just waiting for the perfect timing, it can just be another way that your subconscious mind is, is actually sabotaging you in order to keep [00:17:00] you exactly where you are.

Because if you look back over the moments in your. There weren't really that many perfect moments where things happen exactly as planned in the exact timeline, in the exact way that we hoped, and that's because life rarely happens like that. And so rather than putting off things to perfect timing, what if instead it could shift to divine timing and know that?

There is no right or wrong choice to make. There's just a choice that she feels true for you at the moment. And rather than following those extreme binaries, can we just follow our truth and take the leap, take small action steps so that we're moving continually closer to where we wanna go. Hmm. 

[00:17:41] Melanie Knights: That just sounds so beautiful because I can really get on board with that.

I've always found the idea. You know, perfect timing, not feeling it, it doesn't feel right. And then at the same time, this idea of doing it anyway can sometimes feel quite [00:18:00] crunchy. But the idea that we get to make a choice in that moment, that feels, I don't wanna say perfect , but it feels like very much imbalance with how I would want to approach things in my business.

Because I think especially when we're using our, I. Trying to sometimes rebuild that trust with ourselves. Being able to recognize that if I choose this, this moment to do something and it feels intuitively right, how can I go wrong? It doesn't mean it's gonna work out perfectly. Doesn't mean that it's going to go exactly the way we envisioned it, but at least we can trust in that moment as well.

And I would assume that's a, a huge part of divine timing is about trusting our. 

[00:18:43] Efia Sulter: Yes, absolutely. It's about, and the thing is with surrender, that it's not just about surrender to, I surrender and I believe like no matter what, I'm gonna get what I want. But it's also if things don't happen exactly as I hope they would, I know that I'm gonna be okay regardless.

[00:18:59] Melanie Knights: [00:19:00] Yeah. Yes. Perfect. So, okay, talking of knowing what we want, um, I, I'm really curious to explore this because I feel as though, this is something that came up a lot for me in kind of the early days of business was knowing what we want. Really being able to, to the way it was explained to me at the time by people that were definitely were not manifestation coaches, is knowing what you want and then kind.

Putting it out into the universe. Um, but I'm guessing that's just like one very small part of it. . 

[00:19:37] Efia Sulter: Yeah. So to me, I would describe manifestation as the process of, of bringing something into your 3D reality as something you can experience. Touch, feel, and part of that is belief work, spiritual work. And the other part of that is action, physical action to ensure that it actually happens.

So it's a culmination of both the spiritual, the [00:20:00] strategy, and then the neuroscience as well. Because manifestation is primarily, A subconscious practice, your, the majority of your life is run by your subconscious mind. So that's why you may find that consciously, you're saying, This is what I want consciously, you know what you want, but you find yourself sabotaging or things not going to plan.

And it's because subconsciously there may be some other beliefs there, or subconsciously you may be getting a benefit from holding onto the challenge that you're not aware of. Mm. 

[00:20:32] Melanie Knights: A benefit from holding onto the challenge that, that is powerful. So in terms of bringing something into our reality, um, you, you talked about, That that is kind of one part of it and bringing it in and the manifestation part, the spiritual strategy.

Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Like what does that potentially look like maybe in your life or [00:21:00] what does that look like? Presumably it looks different for everyone, but what are some kind of key pieces of that spiritual strategy? 

[00:21:08] Efia Sulter: So, one thing I love about manifestation is that it is a very, it is a very personal process.

So depending on what you're manifesting, depending on what your style is, it's gonna look very different from person to person. But for me, with my clients and students, I take them through a five step process called the Vibes Method, and I came up with this process after having an experience. I had created a vision board, and this was the second time I'd created a vision board.

The first one was an amazing experience. I had manifested all these travel experiences, graduating with a good grade from my master's degree and some other things I had put on there that were more related to my personal life. And I was like, Ugh, I am so good at vision board. Like I'm amazing at this. Uh, I'm gonna make another one.

So I did and I put all of these things on there and I reflected on it two years later. None of the things on that vision board had [00:22:00] manifested, and there were two primary reasons why I could see, well, I guess that there can't be two primary reasons. There was a primary and secondary reason why I could see this has happened.

Number one was, I rarely looked at it like I created the vision board and I was like, the things done now. And we have to remember that spiritual tools are just tools, but we actually have to put energy behind them. So it's one thing to make a vision board, but a vision board itself isn't gonna bring your dreams into reality.

You actually have to work with the vision board, spend time looking at it, take action based on what you put on there. And then the other thing was, The things I had actually put on the vision board were not things that I actually truly wanted. They were things that I thought, Okay, well I'm this age and this is what everyone else is doing at this age, so this is what I should want.

Or, Okay, this is gonna make me look good. Or, I saw someone on Instagram talking about this, so this is what I should want as well. But on a soul level, none of the things that I had put on there really resonated with who I was at the time, or even who I wanted to be. [00:23:00] I created the Vibes Method as a way to address what I had encountered, and also because I knew so many other people began their manifestation process with setting intentions.

And when we begin from setting intentions, there could always be that missing step of, is this for me though? Is this truly for me? And so the first step of the Vibes method is embodying the vibe of your higher self, which looks at. Values, which looks at who am I and who do I wanna be? And looking at the gap between those two.

And also goes back to what we said earlier about recognition of how incredible and powerful you already are, because we are all manifesting all the time. Manifestation is not something that you need to start doing. It may be something that you need to start bringing more of a conscious awareness to, but all of the things that you have created in your.

Has been a result of manifesting them, whether you're aware of it or not. So we are all powerful manifested, whether you've manifested a lot of situations you would like to change or you've manifested so many incredible [00:24:00] experiences that you're really happy about, you are powerful either way. Mm, 

[00:24:07] Melanie Knights: That is, Yeah.

I mean, the idea that we can create the ion boards or. Whatever that looks like in our life, whatever those spiritual tools are, but the fact that there can be these times where we say we want something and it's not actually what we want, or we can be, you know, I've talked about this on the show before about how I found myself chasing all these goals in my business.

They really weren't what I wanted, and it took me such a long time to kind of go back and unpack all of these things and why was I chasing these goals that weren't mine, but. Who am I and what do I really want? And it, and I've found that it has been me. It's definitely come back to my values as a business owner, as a professional and, and in my personal life, because my values really helped me to identify potentially what behaviors [00:25:00] or habits are also happening in my life that are not in line or aligned or in line with who I actually am and who I'm trying.

Be or who I am. So I love that. I'm a big fan of vision boarding. I have currently two vision boards in my office. Ooh, how excited. And I can say one of them, yeah, one of them is next to my desk. It's very, I was very proud of the social board. I did this the end of last year and I actually talked about this recently, how a lot of that stuff has happened and um, every time I'm kind of feeling stuck, I look at that and I work with it and I'm like, Are you on the rope path?

Is this still what you want? So yeah, big fishing board fan over here 

[00:25:42] Efia Sulter: and it's, it's just a really playful way to manifest as well. Like not everything has to be so serious. And I think the art of even creating a vision board is something that really helps you to activate your inner child and be really playful and arty with it, so, Mm.

[00:25:57] Melanie Knights: Yeah. Yeah, and that's the thing, I [00:26:00] love creativity. It's a core value of mine. And obviously being an artist, I love being able to bring that part of it and seeing each, even each year or every, you know, six months depending on when I decide that I want to put something new together. Also, being able to visually see how much I've evolved, um, in just that period of time and where I'm at in terms of what I want and what I want to bring into my life.

So it's, it's, yeah, it's really fun. So thank you. So much for sharing all of this today with us aia. We are coming to the end of the episode, but as always, I do have one last question for you, and that is, what does being an entrepreneurial outlaw look and feel like for you during this season of your business?

[00:26:52] Efia Sulter: For me, I think being an entrepreneurial outlaw looks and feels like following the nudges, even [00:27:00] if they don't make sense to anyone else, even if it seems kind of weird just going along with what you're feeling called to go along with and really trusting. That inner wisdom as well. A lot of self-reflection and trusting that inner wisdom and seeing where that leads you.

And then, and then moving to, okay, now I want support with bringing this idea to life, or I want support afterwards. But initially, building that intuitive connection so it can lead, um, lead that kind of rebellious entrepreneur life by, by sticking to your truth and following that no matter where it leads.

[00:27:37] Melanie Knights: Mm, I love that. Following the nudges. Yes. Very outlaw. Um, amazing. So where can everybody connect with you? Uh, where can we find you online? How can they learn more about you, um, and what you are doing currently? 

[00:27:55] Efia Sulter: So you can find me online, a Fear Filter underscore on Instagram and [00:28:00] TikTok, the Manifest Edit podcast for my podcast.

And I also have a free masterclass on the power of subconscious manifestation, which goes a bit deeper into what I shared about subconscious manifestation today and why it is powerful to bring both sides of your mind into the manifestation process to actually create your reality, not just externally, but also internally as.

[00:28:25] Melanie Knights: Mm, amazing. So we will make sure that everything is linked in the show notes. Um, so you'll be able to find links to, um, all of Oliver, here's work and the, uh, master class and also social media links. I need to follow you on TikTok. I don't think I'm following you on that. I always forget that Tik Tooks, like my.

Probably like fourth in line social media platform. Like, Oh yeah, I'm on there. I need to follow people. I love, it's 

[00:28:51] Efia Sulter: like my, probably my number one is quickly like shifted into, It's my favorite place to tag out online. My favorite place to share content is TikTok. And my favorite [00:29:00] place to like personally communicate with people is Instagram.

[00:29:04] Melanie Knights: You know, it's funny. I, I really like that. That description, because I actually was recording a podcast episode yesterday and we were talking about TikTok specifically because we were saying how interesting it is to use that platform for our creative work. And you are right, because I was trying to identify what I is that I feel that is the difference between TikTok and Instagram, and that is it.

It's like the community aspect on Instagram. Um, because especially right now, I don't feel like I have a community on TikTok yet. That's, that's a really good way of explaining it. Yes. Okay. But we will link to all of that in the show notes. Um, and I will follow you on TikTok. Um, and also don't forget everyone, you can find a full transcript along with all of these links in the show notes@outlawcreatives.com slash podcast.

Thank you so much, Shia. I've really enjoyed this conversation. Me too. Thanks, baby.[00:30:00]